Post by Riku on Jul 3, 2010 15:00:34 GMT -4
This was taken from an awesome writer named Malamyn. Thank you so much for making this article! It helps out lots of other admins and role players alike!
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I find it amusing when sites post rules about length. “No one liners” they say or “be descriptive” all in various manners of expressing what they truly mean: Write something to which others can respond. This can be accomplished in a variety of ways but more often than not a RPer desperately trying to increase his or her “Advanced” status will resort to feathery description:
As the traveler took in the Old Man’s advice he brought his attention to the small hole worn in his coat pocket. How many items had been lost to his poor mending, he did not even wish to hazard a guess. Coins, trinkets, perhaps even a few maps which had the habit of “mysteriously disappearing” had in actuality slipped from his grasp due to this peculiar feature of his coat.
It was a good coat, warm in the winter and dry in the rain. His mother had patched it together from bits of animal hides, cloth, some old moth eaten quilts she’d found in the attic one day. And despite its age and obvious degraded state of being, it was still a good coat, one which he would not trade for all the gold this small village had to offer.
Though if I posted this I would not be ashamed of it, it is of decent length, not too lacking in varying sentence structure and of decent grammar and spelling (I suppose, it is a first draft and there are certain individuals with the talent for scouring my writings for improper conventions), the other RPer would not be able to respond. He or she could of course launch into their own description of the old man’s clothing or muse on the traveler’s silence, but lets try a different approach:
"Mmmm," he said as the traveler took in the Old Man’s advice. "That’s…” his thoughts trailed as he brought his attention to the small hole worn in his coat pocket. How many items had been lost to his poor mending, he did not even wish to hazard a guess. Coins, trinkets, perhaps even a few maps which had the habit of “mysteriously disappearing” had in actuality slipped from his grasp due to this peculiar feature of his coat.
"Silly thing," he startled even himself while the words vanished on his tongue. This man wasn’t interested in a hole in his pocket. But perhaps the coat… It was a good coat, warm in the winter and dry in the rain. His mother had patched it together from bits of animal hides, cloth, some old moth eaten quilts she’d found in the attack one day. And despite its age and obvious degraded state of being, it was still a good coat, one which he would not trade for all the gold this small village had to offer.
If I ended here, the other RPer could simply have his or her character ask what the traveler meant by ‘Silly thing’ but that is rather boring is it not? Let’s see if we can end it in a better fashion:
"I am a man of few talents, there is little I can use to barter with you or the villagers, but I have this coat... It is not in the greatest shape, but as I see you have none, perhaps you would take it in exchange for a room for the night?"
Questions are the cheap way to guarantee a response. Well not cheap, they’re necessary, but they take the choice out of it. If two characters are merely talking, the other RPer will make the choice as to whether or not to respond to the first thing said, the last thing said (which is more common) or something in the middle. But if you ask the other character a question, the character must answer. Or, if the character chooses to not answer there must be a reason for it and the other RPer can write a post based on the character’s avoidance of the question (or having him or her simply not hear it). But the fact remains, here you have given something which will make a response a good bit easier.
For example:
"Well I come from down the road aways, a large city called Mancest but I hope to stay here for a good while. I’m a good tailor if I do say so myself but the city was too loud for my tastes and all I really want is some peace and quiet so that I can tend to my gardenias."
Here the character has supplied several bits of information. First he is from a large city named Mancest. He hopes to move to this new area because the city was too loud and he wants a quieter life. His occupation is as a tailor and his hobbies include gardening, specifically the gardenia. The other character could comment on any one of these revelations or on all of them.
1. "I’ve heard of Mancest, though I have not had the pleasure of visiting it."
2. "Well we’re not much for clothing but a good tailor can always find work, especially among the women who dress up their daughters to attract husbands."
3. "Aye, a city is loud. But here it is a simple life so you should be pleased though many of you city folk have come to claim that it is too quiet, miss the hustle and bustle I suppose."
Of course the other RPer may wish to provide bits of information about his own character. While this is not stellar dialogue, it is enough to move a thread along. Eventually one would want to include a few elements of tension to make it interesting or move it in a specific direction in order to advance a plot. But some quick pointers:
1. Writing dialogue that is true to real life is boring. Including a bunch of "umm"s may be realistic in terms of how people actually talk, but it is not enjoyable to read. This is not to say that they are completely useless. Occasionally you may wish for your character to stammer in which case you must carefully position a few "umm"s, "err"s, and interrupted words.
2. Don’t repeat things. If one character says, "How has the weather been," do not say "The weather has been [insert climate]." Usually the more concise the language, the better it will be. He asked a question, answer it. If you find yourself trying to repeat the question in order to make it clear which question you are answering, it’s probably because it’s an unimportant question. If it isn’t, then try to include enough description or allusions to it that it is made clear.
3. Avoid tagging. He said she said gets old after a while. What’s even worse is exhausting a list of synonyms for said. Nine times out of ten readers aren’t even going to register the ’said’, it has become an “invisible” word much like “the”. However if you include too many, then it gets redundant. If you’re RPing only one person then it’s obvious as to who is speaking, if you’re RPing several then make it clear by reactions and descriptions. A quick rule about switching voice: when a new person speaks, you MUST start a new paragraph.
Internal Dialogue
The device upon which I rely the most often is Internal Dialogue. While with 3rd person limited point of view you do not have to set off a characters thoughts in italics, I find it useful. Yet I still include thoughts out of italics. In general I use the rule of ‘If the character is saying it in their head, put it in italics’. For example:
Conrad was convinced his life was over the moment he saw Roselle’s face. She looked so angry to him even though he couldn’t quite figure out why. Maybe it’s because she looks like my mother when she does that?
Though the first two sentences were obviously Conrad’s thoughts, they were more feelings than fully formed as sentences. The last sentence was an actual thought said in his mind trying to rationalize his feelings. I prefer this method because when done well, it really does sound as if the person is having a conversation with his or herself. The true advantage to Internal Dialogue is this is where you can characterize most effectively. This is how you let your audience know the most private details of your character and how you can develop a change. If eventually you wish to turn your character into a homicidal maniac, you can plant a few thoughts and reactions to a gruesome scene. Or you can begin to reveal your characters anger. Even better, using italics you can stage an internal dilemma during which the raging homicidal side wins.
In terms of practice, create several characters and stage a conversation between the three. Keep it to solely to dialogue and perhaps some internal dialogue and see how much information you can reveal without making it sound staged (which it is, but it doesn’t have to sound like it). Also, keep a notebook and write down peculiar phrases and sentences that you hear in everyday conversation. Examine and analyze what makes good conversation and bad conversation, what is easy on the ears, what grabs your attention, or what’s amusing and incorporate it into your posts. Remember however: real life is boring. Take real conversation, but make it readable.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
I find it amusing when sites post rules about length. “No one liners” they say or “be descriptive” all in various manners of expressing what they truly mean: Write something to which others can respond. This can be accomplished in a variety of ways but more often than not a RPer desperately trying to increase his or her “Advanced” status will resort to feathery description:
As the traveler took in the Old Man’s advice he brought his attention to the small hole worn in his coat pocket. How many items had been lost to his poor mending, he did not even wish to hazard a guess. Coins, trinkets, perhaps even a few maps which had the habit of “mysteriously disappearing” had in actuality slipped from his grasp due to this peculiar feature of his coat.
It was a good coat, warm in the winter and dry in the rain. His mother had patched it together from bits of animal hides, cloth, some old moth eaten quilts she’d found in the attic one day. And despite its age and obvious degraded state of being, it was still a good coat, one which he would not trade for all the gold this small village had to offer.
Though if I posted this I would not be ashamed of it, it is of decent length, not too lacking in varying sentence structure and of decent grammar and spelling (I suppose, it is a first draft and there are certain individuals with the talent for scouring my writings for improper conventions), the other RPer would not be able to respond. He or she could of course launch into their own description of the old man’s clothing or muse on the traveler’s silence, but lets try a different approach:
"Mmmm," he said as the traveler took in the Old Man’s advice. "That’s…” his thoughts trailed as he brought his attention to the small hole worn in his coat pocket. How many items had been lost to his poor mending, he did not even wish to hazard a guess. Coins, trinkets, perhaps even a few maps which had the habit of “mysteriously disappearing” had in actuality slipped from his grasp due to this peculiar feature of his coat.
"Silly thing," he startled even himself while the words vanished on his tongue. This man wasn’t interested in a hole in his pocket. But perhaps the coat… It was a good coat, warm in the winter and dry in the rain. His mother had patched it together from bits of animal hides, cloth, some old moth eaten quilts she’d found in the attack one day. And despite its age and obvious degraded state of being, it was still a good coat, one which he would not trade for all the gold this small village had to offer.
If I ended here, the other RPer could simply have his or her character ask what the traveler meant by ‘Silly thing’ but that is rather boring is it not? Let’s see if we can end it in a better fashion:
"I am a man of few talents, there is little I can use to barter with you or the villagers, but I have this coat... It is not in the greatest shape, but as I see you have none, perhaps you would take it in exchange for a room for the night?"
Questions are the cheap way to guarantee a response. Well not cheap, they’re necessary, but they take the choice out of it. If two characters are merely talking, the other RPer will make the choice as to whether or not to respond to the first thing said, the last thing said (which is more common) or something in the middle. But if you ask the other character a question, the character must answer. Or, if the character chooses to not answer there must be a reason for it and the other RPer can write a post based on the character’s avoidance of the question (or having him or her simply not hear it). But the fact remains, here you have given something which will make a response a good bit easier.
For example:
"Well I come from down the road aways, a large city called Mancest but I hope to stay here for a good while. I’m a good tailor if I do say so myself but the city was too loud for my tastes and all I really want is some peace and quiet so that I can tend to my gardenias."
Here the character has supplied several bits of information. First he is from a large city named Mancest. He hopes to move to this new area because the city was too loud and he wants a quieter life. His occupation is as a tailor and his hobbies include gardening, specifically the gardenia. The other character could comment on any one of these revelations or on all of them.
1. "I’ve heard of Mancest, though I have not had the pleasure of visiting it."
2. "Well we’re not much for clothing but a good tailor can always find work, especially among the women who dress up their daughters to attract husbands."
3. "Aye, a city is loud. But here it is a simple life so you should be pleased though many of you city folk have come to claim that it is too quiet, miss the hustle and bustle I suppose."
Of course the other RPer may wish to provide bits of information about his own character. While this is not stellar dialogue, it is enough to move a thread along. Eventually one would want to include a few elements of tension to make it interesting or move it in a specific direction in order to advance a plot. But some quick pointers:
1. Writing dialogue that is true to real life is boring. Including a bunch of "umm"s may be realistic in terms of how people actually talk, but it is not enjoyable to read. This is not to say that they are completely useless. Occasionally you may wish for your character to stammer in which case you must carefully position a few "umm"s, "err"s, and interrupted words.
2. Don’t repeat things. If one character says, "How has the weather been," do not say "The weather has been [insert climate]." Usually the more concise the language, the better it will be. He asked a question, answer it. If you find yourself trying to repeat the question in order to make it clear which question you are answering, it’s probably because it’s an unimportant question. If it isn’t, then try to include enough description or allusions to it that it is made clear.
3. Avoid tagging. He said she said gets old after a while. What’s even worse is exhausting a list of synonyms for said. Nine times out of ten readers aren’t even going to register the ’said’, it has become an “invisible” word much like “the”. However if you include too many, then it gets redundant. If you’re RPing only one person then it’s obvious as to who is speaking, if you’re RPing several then make it clear by reactions and descriptions. A quick rule about switching voice: when a new person speaks, you MUST start a new paragraph.
Internal Dialogue
The device upon which I rely the most often is Internal Dialogue. While with 3rd person limited point of view you do not have to set off a characters thoughts in italics, I find it useful. Yet I still include thoughts out of italics. In general I use the rule of ‘If the character is saying it in their head, put it in italics’. For example:
Conrad was convinced his life was over the moment he saw Roselle’s face. She looked so angry to him even though he couldn’t quite figure out why. Maybe it’s because she looks like my mother when she does that?
Though the first two sentences were obviously Conrad’s thoughts, they were more feelings than fully formed as sentences. The last sentence was an actual thought said in his mind trying to rationalize his feelings. I prefer this method because when done well, it really does sound as if the person is having a conversation with his or herself. The true advantage to Internal Dialogue is this is where you can characterize most effectively. This is how you let your audience know the most private details of your character and how you can develop a change. If eventually you wish to turn your character into a homicidal maniac, you can plant a few thoughts and reactions to a gruesome scene. Or you can begin to reveal your characters anger. Even better, using italics you can stage an internal dilemma during which the raging homicidal side wins.
In terms of practice, create several characters and stage a conversation between the three. Keep it to solely to dialogue and perhaps some internal dialogue and see how much information you can reveal without making it sound staged (which it is, but it doesn’t have to sound like it). Also, keep a notebook and write down peculiar phrases and sentences that you hear in everyday conversation. Examine and analyze what makes good conversation and bad conversation, what is easy on the ears, what grabs your attention, or what’s amusing and incorporate it into your posts. Remember however: real life is boring. Take real conversation, but make it readable.
